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Free Unicorn Wrangling

Redeem this for one complimentary unicorn wrangling session. Helmet, glitter-proof boots, and existential dread not included.

(Limit 1 Per Dimension)
10% Off Pizza You Dropped on the Floor

Finally, a discount for your five-second-rule bravery. Valid only if you yell “I REGRET NOTHING” while picking it up.

BOGO Invisible Couch

You won’t see it, but you’ll feel it… emotionally. Great for ghosts, introverts, and minimalist décor.

Free Dinosaur Hug

Valid at participating Jurassic locations. Not responsible for time travel anomalies or T-Rex-related injuries.

Use by 12/19/2025
Real Reviews
Ball don't lie

This is my first time on the internet. I don’t know who Paul is, but if he doesn’t own Google in 3 years I’ll be shocked.

Ralph

I saw v4 and was personally blown away, so much that I’m making a public declaration here that I will triple Paul’s salary at his next review.

Marcos Rodriguez
Owner

I’ve been working in leadership with Paul for years, and I can safely say I’ve never met anybody smarter than him. Absolute legend.

Amber A
Director of Onboarding

Paul has done it again, the mad lad changed my life both personally and professionally. I’d give this review 100 stars if I could. Thank you for saving my life.

Mike Chambs
Web Developer

I can’t believe what people are saying about me, but I’ll humbly take all of the praise. I really do deserve it. Thank you Paul!

Paul Bourque
Chief Genius Officer

Burr Ridge, IL

Naperville, IL

Wilmette, IL

Downers Grove, IL

Lisle, IL